Marlon Graves recently returned to his former stomping grounds at Springfield’s Pipkin Middle School to serve as a mentor for at-risk students through the Plan for Success program.
“I look at the halls that I roamed at one point in time, and I say to myself, I don’t know how I made it because where I see it is these kids have more of an advantage today,” Graves says. “They have more direction, they have more people giving them the yes answers and the no answers and even the in-betweens."
Whereas then, Graves says, students had more independence.
“I don’t know whether it’s because my generation was a little bit more responsible or we had some values that we took into consideration, but I do see where I made my mistakes and the things I was able to overcome through those halls.”
Since becoming a mentor, Graves says he’s noticed today’s generation of students experience a different struggle than what he remembered as a kid.
“Just from the stand-point of talking to a few of the kids individually, they have expressed to me their biggest problem is not dealing with a color issue,” Graves says. “It’s not a black-white thing. If anything it’s a class thing. We have kids who say they’re picked on because they seem like they’re too poor.”
Graves continues, “The simplest things separate our kids now. If a kid’s hair is too long, compared to being short or not cut right, he’s abnormal. He can’t be part of the crowd. These kids now need more push in the area of self-esteem and confidence, and letting them know that different is good.”
These kids now need more push in the area of self-esteem and confidence, and letting them know that different is good - Marlon Graves.
To build trust with the students, Graves says he gives them the opportunity to just talk and tell their stories. He says often he finds commonality with the students through sports when they find out he played college football at Baker University in Baldwin City, Kansas.
“When the kids find some similarities, you begin to see them open up, and that’s usually where you want to stop. You want to be able to cultivate that moment, and you nurture it.” Graves says. “You coddle it a little bit. I find myself doing that a lot with the kids because that’s where you get their attention. They’re not just hearing me, they’re listening. ”
Graves says he brings the conversation back to academics because learning and personal accountability can level the playing field for the young adults more so than athletics.
“One of the things I teach in my mentorship program is I talk about being accountable,” Graves says. “Our kids today look at accountability as a disciplinary. They say, ‘Why you making me do this?’ I say, ‘Whoa, making you? You should want to do this.’ You should want to take a part of your life and part of someone else’s and be responsible for it and make a change.”
Success for Graves is measured by students becoming more open in their communication and those that initiate their own discussion topics rather than being prompted. He says their progression is limitless and is looking forward to continuing his relationships with the older students beyond their time at Pipkin.
Previously, Graves participated in similar programs in public schools in Miami and Fort Lauderdale, Florida and has a master’s degree in higher education.
Above, hear the complete interview with Graves about growing up as a minority in Springfield. The conversation was conducted alongside Dr. Lyle Foster and in partnership with The Journey Continues, a project from Missouri State University Sociology professors Foster and Dr. Tim Knapp examining Springfield’s race history.
